Faint Lines

I wish you weren’t there,
No faint lines to see
No squinting, holding the test
Out in the light and back again
In the shadows, trying
To make sure what I see
Is what is there
And not a figment of my imagination

It would be easier
If you weren’t there,
If there was nothing to see
No lines, no pink, no plus sign
Just a clean slate, a clear control
And nothing else

Instead, I squint and see
If I can’t erase the second line
With my eyes

Because if there’s no second line
There’s no you
Which means
There’s nothing—no one—to lose