The Rules

I don’t know

the rules.

I don’t know

who I’m allowed to tell.

I don’t know

how to grieve.

I don’t know

if there’s a limit on how long I can be sad.

I don’t know

if it means I’m ungrateful.

I don’t know

if three weeks is too long.

I don’t know

if I’m allowed to grieve with someone else.

I don’t know

if I’m supposed to be lonely.

I don’t know

if it’s all too taboo.

I don’t know

how long to let my head spin.

I don’t know

when to let go.

I don’t know

what to let go.

I don’t know

what to do with it all.

I don’t know

who I’m even grieving for—you or me.

I don’t know

if it’s okay that I still cry.

I don’t know.