Psalm 4:8

I have had terrible nightmares since I was a very small child. I spent many nights as a kid curled up in a blanket, sleeping in our hallway outside the bathroom because that was the only light we kept on at night. I also spent tons of time hunched into a ball in my bed, “erasing” the scary or bad images from my mind. I used to literally picture a pencil eraser erasing the images away, over and over. It never made the images actually go away, but it helped me focus on something long enough to breathe more normally again.
I also absolutely dealt with some sort of demon. I saw him (it?) pretty regularly. This got to its worst when I was in 8th grade and the demon would follow me to school.

 
That was a horrible period of my life. I could physically feel the darkness around me. Needless to say, I also dealt with a lot of anxiety. In 8th grade, I started having panic attacks, too. I think I had them occasionally before then, but they became a regular part of my life when I was 14.

 
Most nights, I would plead with God to keep me sage. I would imagine myself in a bubble and that God wouldn’t let anything into the bubble. I started doing that when I was really young, maybe 5 years old, but I kept doing it until I was almost 20. For much of my life, it felt like unless I imagined and prayed for that bubble, God wouldn’t protect me.

At 18, going on 19, I started to receive biblical counseling from my college. My counselor affirmed the possibility of demon oppression, but then he challenged me—to memorize and believe 2 Corinthians 10:3-6. To take captive my thoughts. To know and believe that our warfare is not fleshly but spiritual and God gives us the power to tear down strongholds by His Spirit. Not by our own power. I started asking the Lord to help my unbelief. I asked Him to grant me peace, and I prayed that the demon would leave, in Jesus’s name.

 
The Lord granted me deliverance, in His mercy. He has not delivered me from nightmares. But I have only had one panic attack since I was 19. And it was a few weeks ago. I haven’t seen the demon since I was 19, either. There are times I still feel something, but Jesus is so much more powerful than any of the principalities or powers of darkness. He conquers them on the cross and proves it with the resurrection.
Okay, so what does this have to do with baby loss?

Everything, actually.

Only God can make us dwell in safety. Only He can truly protect us—and our babies.

 
We can lie down to sleep in peace. With His peace surrounding us. Even in the worst moments of our lives, He can make us dwell in safety, surrounded by peace.

The worst day of my life, by far, was the day I miscarried Asa. That night, I laid next to my husband and cried myself to exhaustion. Then, I prayed. And the Lord surrounded me with His peace. I was still utterly heartbroken. Still literally, physically overcome by grief. But I fell asleep with the comfort of the Spirit ministering to me.

He will minister to you, too.